Just Stop!
A Manifesto for Women Reclaiming Their Time, Energy, and Happiness
Welcome to the inaugural edition of “Just (Effing) Stop!”—a monthly column that lays down the law on all the Bullshit we women need to stop doing. Right. Now. How to reclaim your time, energy, and—most importantly—your happiness! This will be your permission slip to drop the guilt, ditch the expectations, and unapologetically prioritize YOU. Let's dive into the first of many "Just (Effing) Stop!" moments.
More than just a column: it’s a movement. A call to action for women everywhere to stop doing the things that drain their energy; waste their time; chip away at their happiness. Life is too short for Bullshit. So, next time you find yourself caught in an endless cycle of “shoulds” and “have tos”, remember this mantra: stop, Just (Effing) Stop. Reclaim your time, protect your energy, and choose your happiness—unapologetically.
Why do we say “sorry” when someone bumps us? Or apologize for taking up space, having an opinion, or simply living our lives? Enough. Stop apologizing for things that don’t require an apology. You’re not a burden; you’re a badass. Own your space, your voice, and your right to be here without apologizing for it.”
Stop Apologizing for ExistingWhy We Need to Stop
When you constantly apologize for existing, you’re sending a message—to yourself and others—that you don’t deserve to take up space. It diminishes your presence, undermines your confidence, and chips away at your self-worth. It tells the world that your needs, thoughts, and feelings are secondary. But guess what? They’re not.
You are not a burden. Your presence is not an inconvenience. You have every right to exist, to take up space, and to be heard. You don’t need to shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable. Your opinions matter, your boundaries are valid, and your voice deserves to be heard. Apologizing for these things isn’t just unnecessary—it’s harmful.
How to Break the Habit
Breaking the habit of over-apologizing starts with awareness. Begin by paying attention to how often you are “sorry” in situations that don’t warrant an apology. Are you apologizing when someone bumps into you? When you ask for something at a restaurant? When you express a differing opinion? Once you start noticing these patterns, you can begin to change them.
Here’s how:
- Replace “Sorry” with “Thank You.” Instead of apologizing, try expressing gratitude. For example, instead of saying “Sorry for being late,” say “Thank you for waiting.” This shifts the focus from guilt to appreciation and acknowledges the situation without diminishing yourself.
- Pause Before You Apologize. Before you instinctively say “sorry,” take a moment to ask yourself if an apology is really necessary. If it’s not, find another way to respond. You might say, “Excuse me,” or simply state what you need without preamble.
- Practice Assertive Communication. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive; it means standing up for yourself and expressing your needs and opinions clearly and respectfully. Practice saying what you mean without softening your statements with unnecessary apologies.
- Own Your Space. Practice taking up space. Sit up straight, speak clearly, and don’t feel the need to apologize for having a strong presence. Your space in the world is yours to claim—own it.
- Reframe Your Thinking. Start reframing how you view your right to exist and be heard. Remind yourself that you are not an inconvenience; you are a person with inherent value and worth. You don’t need to apologize, for being you.
Owning Your Space, Unapologetically
Owning your space means more than just standing tall and speaking up—it’s about embracing your right to be exactly who you are, without feeling like you have to soften the edges or dim your light to make others comfortable. It’s about recognizing that your voice matters and that your presence is valuable, no matter what anyone else might say.
When you stop apologizing for existing, you’ll feel your confidence grow, your self-respect deepen, and your relationships improve. People will start to see you as someone who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to demand respect. And most importantly, you’ll start to see yourself that way too.
So, eff it—stop apologizing just for being here. You’re not just allowed to exist; you’re meant to thrive. Take up space, be loud, be bold, and be unapologetically you. The world needs more women who refuse to apologize for their existence, and it’s time you became one of them.
Until next time, stay sassy, stay strong, and above all, stop putting everyone else before yourself. You deserve better.
