"When you rest, you catch your breath and it holds you up, like water wings…”
~ Anne Lamott
In a world that glorifies productivity, we feel intense pressure to keep going no matter how exhausted or overwhelmed we’ve become. No matter how much pain we might be feeling - physical, emotional, and/or psychological. This belief that we must push through, and show up while ignoring our discomfort is deeply ingrained, especially for those identify as care-givers and/or nurturers and derive worth from this role/identity.
As a therapist, healer, or simply someone who supports others in daily life, it can be easy to convince yourself that rest is a luxury, not a necessity. But what if this relentless drive to keep moving forward does more harm than good? What if, in constantly pushing through, we not only deplete ourselves but also become less effective at the very work we’re so committed to. The truth is, healing requires space for healing. Processing emotions takes time. And no one, not even the most resilient among us can pour from an empty cup, let alone drink.
The Cost of Constantly Pushing Through
We like to think that we can compartmentalize ourselves; that we can keep going despite our exhaustion, our stress, or emotional weight. But the truth is, when we suppress our feelings, they don’t vanish. They build up, quietly shaping our thoughts, reactions, and relationships in ways we may not even realize. Burnout isn’t just feeling tired. It’s a slow erosion of passion, of patience, and of presence. When a therapist has lost the emotional bandwidth to truly listen, when a healer feels disconnected from their practice, when exhaustion turns into resentment, we are at burnout. And yet, so many push through because they feel they have to. They believe people are counting on them. They believe rest is a luxury. They believe stopping is like failing.
But ignoring exhaustion will not make it go away. It just makes the crash inevitable. The body keeps score, and if we don’t listen to the whispers of fatigue and frustration, they will eventually become screams that demand attention
The Power of Pausing
Instead of pushing through, what if we allowed ourselves to pause?
Pausing isn’t quitting. It’s not abandoning our responsibilities or turning away from the people who need us. It’s about creating space to breathe, to process, and to reflect. It’s recognizing that our well-being matters just as much as that of the people we serve. When we take time to slow down, we gain clarity. We start to notice what we’re feeling instead of numbing or suppressing it. We begin to understand our own emotional landscape, which makes us better at helping others navigate theirs. Pausing allows us to reconnect with ourselves, with our purpose, with the joy that brought us to this work in the first place.
Leading by Example
As healers, therapists, and caregivers, we spend our time encouraging others to process their emotions, set boundaries, and practice self-care. But are we practicing what we preach? It’s easy to tell a client that rest is essential and that pushing through isn’t sustainable. But if we don’t embody that wisdom ourselves, what message do we really send? When we model rest and reflection, we show our clients and colleagues, that self-care isn’t just a trendy buzzword - it’s essential. We reinforce a truth: that healing isn’t just something we facilitate for others; it’s something we must actively pursue for ourselves. When healers take care of their own emotional health, they become better at their work. Their presence, their intuition, and their ability to hold space for others strengthens and sharpens. But when they neglect themselves, their work suffers, and eventually, so does their well-being.
Finding Your Own Way to Pause
Pausing doesn’t have to mean taking extended time for a retreat (though that can be deeply restorative). It can be as simple an act as incorporating small moments of rest and reflection into daily life. Maybe it’s starting the day with deep breaths instead of immediately checking emails, or stepping outside between sessions for a few minutes of fresh air and grounding. Maybe it’s journaling in the evening, allowing space to process the emotions absorbed throughout the day. For some, pausing can mean engaging in creative expression - painting or writing for example, without the added pressure of productivity. For others, it might mean seeking therapy or joining a healing circle. What matters is that you create space. Stop waiting for exhaustion to force you to rest. You can permit yourself to slow down before burnout chooses you.
